So Alan gave me a wonderful gift today…he let me sleep in and took care of doing everything for Rhiannah to get to school today. The only thing is, I’m not so sure it was so wonderful.
I’ve been going at a hectic pace for the better part of the month since Rhiannah had her knee operated on – none of us realized the difficulty and length of recovery this operation would need. Bones broken, muscles torn to stretch, tendons divided and moved – 5 large scars, 4 more microscopic ones, 2 permanent screws and a biodegradable one. She’s needed help with everything from getting dressed to showering, carrying books and instruments, organizing medications, etc.
My own issues rear their ugly head at times – headaches, pain, old age…..but when you are going, you are going and there’s not time to think or sometimes even realize. And thus the balance scales, and the thought that a sleep in and “day off” may not be so wonderful….
Today I realized that I haven’t been looking after myself as well as I should have been – I’m not complaining – really, it’s what we moms do. It’s what we’ve seen our moms do since forever! But we pay – in many ways, I wish I hadn’t stopped today – I’ve realized my own pain, my own exhaustion. It would have been easier to keep going – it’s hard to stop and rest, because it never seems like enough. But it’s necessary. I should have done it sooner. And more often. I should have let Alan carry a little bit more of the load (although he is my hero and carries so much more than most!)
Tomorrow, I will pick up where I left off. But with the wisdom that I AM tired. I AM in need of rest. I AM in need of some help. I AM human.
Even Jesus – God’s perfection – took time to rest – and ultimately, He is the place to go when I’m at the end of myself and need a renewal. He is the Bread of Life (Jn 6:35), the Living Water (Jn 4:14, 7:37), the Breath of Life itself (Jn. 20:22), the Light that all life needs (Jn 8:12) and my Shelter (15:4-5). We all need food, water, air, light and shelter. He is the perfect answer and life (Jn 1:4, 10:10) itself.
The scale reminds me that I need balance – I need to put more on the Jesus side so I can balance the scale with all the me on my side….I encourage you today, especially you moms, find your balance – have you placed enough at the feet of Jesus to lighten up your side of the scale? Have you taken the time to rest and rejuvenate? Have you taken God up on His promise to sustain you (Ps. 55:22)?